As Hannah Montana sings; “Nobody’s perfect, I gotta work it, again and again, 'til I get it right!”
Wise words from the Disney channel star we once were obsessed with, but only on reflection of this song, we realise how valuable and relatable these words have become to us (also a reminder of what a tune this was).
Perfectionism, in my opinion can be defined as a desire to strive for flawlessness, believing that it is possible to achieve ‘perfect’ and is often accompanied by critical self-evaluations. But is it really possible to be ‘perfect’?
I don’t believe it is a healthy trait to strive for and with social media today we are being fooled into what we think is having the perfect life, the perfect body or the perfect relationship. We are constantly bombarded with dreamy holiday pictures, toned bikini bodies and impeccable selfies that we forget these people are just like the rest of us.
Despite advancement of technology being a wonderful development, over the past number of years, it has contributed to increased feelings of depression, anxiety and disorders, especially amongst teens and millennials. Instagram, Facebook and other social channels only encourage us to compare our lives to those we believe to be ‘living their best lives’.
Obviously this tweet was intended with humour, however an internal seriousness definitely portrays. It saddens me to see people believing that once they ‘fix’ what they consider to be their faults, they are suddenly going to feel ‘perfect’. I myself am often guilty of conforming to this behaviour. Social media is amplifying our need to live up to cultural and universal models of perfection and we have now created a psychological environment that is extremely unhealthy for our mind-set. We are measuring our value and attractiveness based on how many likes or comments we get on our posts. Society has deemed that we need this validation from others online to make us feel good and the “You’re absolutely gorgeous, would you wise up!” from your auntie no longer cuts it.
Sadly, feeling good about yourself is a decision you have to make for yourself. Your inner values determine what’s enough and not enough. The majority of us spend our lives constantly looking to do better and looking for this approval that we are doing well. The cycle of perfectionism needs to end.
Nowadays, there are more influencers who are using their social status to express the realities we are all facing. Two of my favourite and authentic people to follow on Instagram are Rozanna Purcell (@rozannapurcell) and Maeve Madden (@maeve_madden). They use their platforms to illustrate their true personas, they share their good days and their off days and don’t fool their followers into believing they lead a perfect life. This is the type of content we should be admiring and following, seeing that it is normal to have belly roles, mountain spots (you know the ones I’m talking about girls) and basically, a s*** day. Rozanna often publishes posts that touch on body image, using unedited, unposed photos of herself, showing that angles, lighting and camera quality are all factors in creating a good photo. Posting this purifying content is helpful in training our minds to realise that nobody is perfect. Simply, I feel that when we can relate to someone who we see as elite and successful, whether it’s sharing similar characteristics, interests or even body shape, we tend to go easier on ourselves and accept that this is just life and who we are.
The reason I follow Maeve is because she suffers from PCOS* (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome), something that I also have recently been diagnosed with. I admire how she openly discusses her experiences on living with PCOS and how something can suddenly interrupt your lifestyle. From a quick glance on her grid, you will see she lives quite the lavish lifestyle, but on closer analysis the influencer doesn’t attempt to conceal her health problems. Who would’ve guessed? Influencers who you believe to be perfect when living these fun, glamourous lifestyles, face real problems too. On days when my emotions are running high, her page gives me comfort and provides me with the mind-set to deal with those off days. Maeve’s openness in discussing the condition helps to shatter the illusion that I am alone and to know that the bad days are only temporary.
The concept of perfectionism means we fail to realise that striving towards any type of goal is an accomplishment in itself, when we fall we need to remember this is not an act of failure and we should always maintain the can do attitude we possessed to begin with in carrying out our goals. Perhaps for some, we view perfectionism as protection from the harsh world, that we would no longer suffer critical judgement from others. Heads up: no matter what you say, think, wear or how you act, people will ALWAYS judge. Finding the courage and compassion to deter from that fear of ‘But what if someone criticises me?’ to ‘I am enough’ is difficult to do but when you follow it through you will begin to have a more optimistic outlook on life.
Nobody is perfect, but there is something perfect in everybody.
*PCOS is a hormonal condition that affects the functioning of a women’s ovaries. Some of the symptoms include: irregular periods, weight gain, infertility, acne.